How Adults Develop - and Why Coaching Is One of the Most Powerful Catalysts
Understanding Robert Kegan’s ‘Orders of Mind’ through a human, humble, Inside Out lens
One of the biggest misconceptions about adulthood is that we stop developing.
We don’t. We never have.
What changes is how we develop (apparently).
Robert Kegan’s constructive-developmental theory offers one of the most compelling ways of understanding this. It isn’t about personality or competence. It’s about the structure of our inner world - the way we make sense of ourselves, others and the complexity around us.
And when you work with leaders every day, as I do, you can feel the truth of it.
Below is a grounded, human-centred way of holding the theory - what it offers, where it needs context, and why coaching is uniquely suited to helping people grow along this developmental spectrum.
The Three “Orders of Mind”
Kegan proposes that adults make meaning through broadly three lenses (see visual below):
1. The Socialised Mind
“I am my relationships. I follow the rules.”
We internalise the expectations, values and norms of others.
Approval, harmony and fitting in matter deeply.
We look outside ourselves to know what’s “right.”
In leadership, this looks like: Managing to please. Avoiding conflict. Adapting to the environment around them.
2. The Self-Authoring Mind
“I have an identity. I make choices.”
We begin to form our own internal compass.
We can step back from others’ expectations and decide intentionally.
Values become chosen, not inherited.
In leadership, this looks like: Clarity. Purpose. Boundaries. Vision. This is the leader who knows what they stand for and can act on it - even if others disagree.
3. The Self-Transforming Mind
“I hold many identities. I embrace paradox.”
We can step back even from our own ideology.
We understand our worldview has blind spots.
We hold multiple perspectives at once.
We become more fluid, systemic and curious.
In leadership, this looks like: Collaboration. Co-creation. Humility. Conflict becomes information, not threat.
Before we go further: this is a theory - not a hierarchy of humans
I am learning to hold models and theories lightly and take human beings seriously.
Kegan’s theory is useful, not absolute. It’s a lens, not a ladder.
Here’s the context I think matters…
1. Development isn’t linear
You’ll know this if you have ever fallen back into old patterns whilst trying to learn new skills or ways of being. No human, or leader, moves neatly through them like levels on a computer game.
We fluctuate.
We regress under pressure.
We expand when supported.
You’ve probably seen this in yourself: You can feel deeply “self-transforming” in a coaching room, fully “self-authoring” in work strategy, and instantly “socialised” again at a family Christmas table.
This doesn’t invalidate the model - it humanises it.
Development is less staircase, more spiral.
2. The model reflects its Western roots
Stage theories tend to celebrate autonomy, internal authorship and self-definition - in other words, Western individualism.
But in collectivist cultures:
Interdependence can be a high developmental achievement.
Staying aligned with community values can represent maturity, not “lower-stage meaning-making.”
So we use the model, but we don’t universalise it. Humans grow and learn in relation with one another. See earlier blog on the Social Psychology of Leading Well.
3. Holding multiple truths does not erase moral clarity
Some people misinterpret Stage 5 as “everything is relative” or '“there is no such thing as reality or truth” - I don’t think that’s what he is saying and it would be dangerous to interpret it that way.
Instead, I see self-transforming leaders as those who can hold paradox and still take a stand. They can act with conviction and humility.
They can say:
“I see the complexity here - and I’m choosing a direction based on integrity and impact.”
This is the kind of ethical leadership our world needs.
Why This Theory Matters for Leadership
The deeper I go in this work, the more convinced I become that leadership is about the capacity to:
Hold tension where multiple, seemingly contradictory, truths are valid at once
Stay present and regulated when things get messy
Think clearly with curiosity when stakes are high
Notice the stories they are operating from and choose to stay open
See the system in all its complexity, not just the moment
Kegan maps the evolution of that capacity and that’s useful when we think about leadership development.
So what actually helps that development happen?
This is the part that matters most: Coaching accelerates development
Coaching is not advice. It’s not problem-solving. It’s not “fixing.”
Coaching is identity work - A space where people can reflect deeply and make the unconscious conscious so that they can have greater agency and choice over how they show up.
This is exactly what Kegan calls the subject → object shift - the mechanism of adult development.
And it’s happening in coaching rooms every day.
Coaching supports movement by:
Helping people find their own voice (Moving from Socialised → Self-Authoring)
Supporting them to separate from others’ expectations
Offering new perspectives and sitting with complexity (Moving from Self-Authoring → Self-Transforming)
Encouraging curiosity about different worldviews
In simpler language: Coaching gives you a place to see yourself more clearly - and once you see something, you can choose differently.
That is adult development in action.
Inside Out Leadership ™ and Kegan: A Natural Pairing
Inside Out Leadership ™ rests on a simple belief: When leaders grow internally, their leadership transforms externally.
The 5Cs map beautifully onto Kegan’s spectrum:
Curiosity → the bridge into the self-transforming mind
Connection → ourselves and others
Clarity → internal authorship and discernment
Courage → acting on chosen values, not inherited fears
Compassion → the relational wisdom that emerges at higher orders of mind
Inside Out Leadership ™ is developmental work. Steady, gentle, human.
Good News: We don’t need to reach Stage 5 to lead brilliantly
We simply need to grow.
To see ourselves more clearly.
To loosen the grip of our old patterns.
To expand our capacity to meet complexity with presence.
Coaching helps that happen. Not because it changes who we are - but because it reveals who we are becoming.