Finding Steady Ground When Everything’s Changing
It was such a joy to deliver my session, Finding Steady Ground When Everything’s Changing, at the Re:Work Live conference last week. So many people came to explore the inner experience of career transition that we ended up running the session twice - the first room overflowing, the second just as full of rich conversation and reflection.
In both rooms, the energy was the same: thoughtful, searching, brave. People who had been made redundant and were wondering what’s next. People who felt stuck in jobs that once looked good on paper but now felt hollow - a kind of professional entrapment, where the salary and title were still working but the soul had quietly left the building. And people who were already on their way to something new - launching businesses, retraining, exploring possibilities - but still carrying the natural nerves that come when certainty slips away.
What united everyone in the room was a shared sense of unsteadiness. When the ground shifts beneath us, our nervous system does what it’s designed to do: it protects. It goes into threat mode, narrowing our attention, making us seek control, certainty, and safety. And while this is entirely human, it can also make it harder to make clear, values-aligned decisions about what comes next.
That’s why we explored mindsight (Dan Siegel) - the ability to notice what’s happening in our inner world, with curiosity rather than judgment. We practised pausing long enough to feel what’s here: the tightness, the doubt, the fear, and also the quiet voice underneath that often knows what we really need.
We talked about how these inner patterns - our beliefs, assumptions, and protective stories - aren’t bad. They’ve served us. They helped us achieve, survive, belong. But when we bring them into consciousness, we create choice. We no longer have to automatically make ourselves small, hold back, minimise risk, or chase after every shiny possibility just to feel safe. We can choose what’s truly right for us.
One of the most powerful discussions in the room came when someone asked:
“If we are not our thoughts, what are we?”
At the time, I didn’t know how to answer. But together, we explored it - participants offering insights that were wise, humble, and deeply human.
Having had time to reflect, I think this: We are some of our thoughts, sometimes. But mostly, we are our values.
Our values are the steady ground beneath the noise of our mind - the inner compass that doesn’t shout, but always points us home.
If you’re in transition - whether by choice or circumstance - here are a few questions we explored in the session that you might find helpful to sit with:
What emotions are here as I think about this next chapter?
What story does my mind tell me about change or uncertainty?
Has that story served me? Is it still serving me now?
What alternative (positive, realistic, empowering) belief might better support me in moving forward?
And most importantly: Who am I - when I’m not defined by my job title, my achievements, or what others expect of me?
I’m still working on that last one myself. Having spent much of my life trying to be what I thought others needed me to be, it’s not easy to unlearn. But it’s becoming clearer - and the clarity comes not from figuring everything out, but from learning to pause, notice, and listen.
If you were in the room - thank you for your openness, your courage, and your presence. If you weren’t but wish you had been, I hope this captures some of what we shared.And wherever you are on your path, remember: you don’t need to have it all mapped out.
You just need to begin from the inside out.