It is literally (almost) impossible to be a leder

And now for something a little different...

Inspired by the incredible speech by America Ferrera in Barbie, here is my take on the (almost) impossibility of leadership. 

You have to be confident.
But not arrogant.
Consistent, but not rigid.

You’re expected to know where you’re going.
To set direction.
To make sense of complexity.

And do it all with imperfect information, competing truths, constantly changing landscapes (AI anyone?) and your own nervous system striving for solid ground.

You have to be Clear
about purpose, priorities, boundaries.
But not so clear that you close down thinking and challenge from your teams.
Not so clear that you don’t get curious about what else might be true.

You have to be Curious.
Open-minded.
Willing to question your assumptions.
Invite challenge.
Listen for what you’re not hearing.
But not so curious that people wonder
when you’ll finally make a decision and tell them what to do.

You have to Connect with yourself and with others.
Build trust.
Create psychological safety.
See people as humans, not resources.
To notice when you’re calm enough to listen
and when you’re leading from threat, habit, or old stories.

But don’t get too close.
Because familiarity blurs authority.
Because you still have to hold the whole 

and tell them what they don’t want to hear.

You have to be Courageous.
Speak when it would be easier to stay silent.
Hold boundaries when you’d rather be liked.
Name the thing that’s not working - including the part that’s yours.
You have to act before you feel ready.
And stand steady when people don’t thank you for it.

Or worse, don’t even notice the heroics you are performing FOR THEM.

But not so courageous that you stop listening.
Not so bold that you lose your humility.

You have to be Compassionate.
Especially when people are struggling.
Especially when behaviour is driven by fear, pressure, or overload.

But that behaviour is seriously hitting your bottom line. 

You have to remember that most people are doing the best they can
with the inner resources they have available in that moment.

And somehow, you have to offer that same compassion to yourself
when you get it wrong.
When you react.
When you realise, in hindsight, that you weren’t leading - you were surviving.

You have to regulate yourself
before you can support anyone else.
Slow your inner world
so your outer decisions are responsive rather than reactive.
You have to notice the urge to fix, defend, explain, or withdraw
and choose something more responsive instead.

You’re expected to perform certainty
while practising humility.
To hold hope
without promising outcomes.
To lead change with confidence
without pretending it’s comfortable.

You have to take responsibility
without taking everything personally.

And at the end of the day,
you’re expected to leave the room
having created enough clarity, safety, and momentum
for others to keep going
even when you’re not feeling it yourself.

Because leadership isn’t about having it all figured out.
It’s about staying Connected, Curious, Clear, Courageous, and Compassionate when the pressure is on.

It’s about leading from the Inside Out. 

So, off you go...

Warmly, 

Astrid